


Babbling

by bortlescale



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Humor, I Tried, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:59:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5400332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bortlescale/pseuds/bortlescale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie tricks Dean into going to a soul mate finding party.</p>
<p>Soulmate AU.  Instead of the first words your soul mate says on your arm, you have the first words <em>you’ll</em> say to your soul mate on your arm.  But long ago it stopped being spontaneous and people started using their words as a greeting to people they were just meeting.  Now, it’s standard like a handshake and people say their phrases even if it seems ridiculous in the situation; if you meet a stranger, you say your phrase.  Total social norm nowadays.  When you and your soul mate complete the exchange, their words become emblazoned next to yours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babbling

Dean is going to rip out one page of every Harry Potter book Charlie owns.  He cannot believe she tricked him into coming to a Soulmate Soirée.  He was promised pie and booze in exchange for going to her LARP meeting.  This is not LARP.  There is no pie. And the booze is not enough repayment.  And soiree, really?  The background chatter is really getting on his nerves too.  The room was filled with people going up to each other and excitedly saying their phrases and moving on.

_“Helsinki and death metal, you know?”_

_“What’s barium?”_

_“Would you like a drink with that?”_

_“Shit sandwich.”_

_“Quite a day isn’t it?”_

_“Ow!”_

_“Watch out!”_

On and on and on people saying their phrases. So nervous about missing meeting their soul mates that they use their words out of context and just sound ridiculous.  Maybe, maybe Dean could see why people would come when they have common phrases like, “what time do you have?” but even that’s pushing it.  They’re your soul mates, destined to meet and all that crap; people need calm down.

Dean’s never said his words.  It’s a stupid concept.  If he says them it certainly won’t be as a stupid greeting. There’s no reason for him to say them to someone when the situation clearly doesn’t call for it. It just doesn’t make sense.

Plus, his words are just really friggin’ embarassing and he is not gonna make himself look like an idiot to everyone he meets. Not like these assholes.

_“Hold the door, please.”_

_“Hello, Who is this?”_

_“Name please.”_

_“What can I help you with?”_

_“Is this seat taken?”_

_“Are you from Tennessee?”_

He might have been amused at the weird shit people were saying, but he was still too mad about being tricked here to care. All of it was just annoying. Charlie had stolen his keys too. So, he did what any rational person in his position would do:  he drank.

About three whiskeys in and some of the stuff was getting less annoying and kind of funny.

_“Speaking of STDs.”_

_“I don’t like your name, I’m calling you Casey.”_

_“Look at my socks!”_

_“Have you seen that one?”_

_“I know we haven’t talked, but I’m hosting an orgy party on the 20 th if you’re interested.”_

_“Have a loaf of bread.”_

_“Hello, Welcome to Wal-Mart.”_

He snorted at that at the same time he heard a deep chuckle next to him.  He didn’t even notice the guy sit down.  Whiskey must be working or this guy was a ninja.  Glancing over he noticed the man was dressed in a trench coat over a rumpled suit and had dark, neatly styled hair.  He looked exactly like a guy who should be here; he probably had words like “Nice to meet you,” or something common like that. Dean signaled the bartender for another and looked over again at the man.  This time he caught his eyes and wow, they were piercing blue. He caught himself before the eye contact became too long and lifted his drink to the man as the other did the same in a silent cheers before turning back to take a hearty swig.

Yup, everything became more tolerable with whiskey. Dean was feeling much looser and wanted revenge a tiny bit less.

_“Hello, Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”_

_“How are you today?”_

_“What can I getcha?”_

_“I think that’s my cat.”_

_“You have piñata on your face.”_

_“Watch where you’re fucking going.”_

The man snorted and shook his head a bit muttering, “Assbutt.”

Before any other thought went through his mind, Dean turned to the man and said, “Ass-What?”

Immediately, he felt a burning on his arm and looked down to see a nice script crawl across his arm, above his words, saying “Assbutt.” He looked up and locked eyes with the man next to him, turning fully toward him now.

They both sat there for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter.

_“Do you have this in a large?”_

_“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”_

_“Hop on.”_

_“You can call me the Captain.”_

“I’m Dean,” he said, sticking out his hand.

The man grabbed his hand in a warm, strong grip and returned, “Hello, Dean.  I’m Castiel.”

As Dean glanced down, he caught sight of Castiel’s arm, reddened a bit by the newly formed words “Ass-What?” and grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> Some first word greetings inspired by Texts From Last Night.
> 
> Thanks to Alessariel for pointing out, in a very kind manner, previous doofus logic on my part.


End file.
